All I want is something good

Am I being irrational?

I met a girl who we'll call A, and I'm pretty sure my one regular reader knows who I'm talking about.  She doesn't even live here or go to school anywhere near here, but was visiting for the week and we ended up hanging out/hooking up that week. She was pretty cool and we really hit it off. I've never met anyone else who can finish my own sentences like that.

Then she went back, and I haven't seen her since. A quick search through my phone revealed that we didn't text again until the night before I went back to school after Winter break. We actually started /talking/ last summer which has continued all the way to tonight. And we like each other and we both know this, but I often wonder, what's the point?

What are the chances that this person you've only hung out with twice in "real life" is going to re-emerge in your life? Geographically speaking it would be an outlier, considering we don't even return to the same metropolitan area any more during college breaks. It's things like these that make me wonder what the hell I'm doing talking to her.

I share the same cynical view of dating with one of my high school friends (and come to think of it, another HS friend). If it's not going to work long term, and there's not much if any of a friendship present, what's the point of even starting something? If it doesn't work out, it must be a waste of time. And obviously I'm not too extreme in this idea and of course nothing is black and white. But it's the idea that my opinions are based on. It has the undesired effect of me putting up walls, and I wish I was as open as other people are.

So that's my rant. My only goal of my dating life, if you can call it that, would be so that in five to ten years, I'm not still single. I'm in no hurry, and often the possibilities provide a slight sense of comfort. And I'm not very open to talk about these things, so I congratulate my only regular reader for being the first to know the full story.