Home

I need to get out. Being home is a mental drag. I need to get away from where I came from. The influence of my parents, particularly my mother, is something that I worked so hard to free myself from that now it's impossible to go back. I've worked so hard to not become the person my conservative mom wants me to be.

I wish it didn't have to come down to this, and I'm admittedly really jealous of my friends who find harmony in their home lives with their parents. My reality is that I can't get what I want out of life by being home. I just can't go back. Every time I head back, I feel like I'm getting pulled back - both subconsciously and directly - back to square one. It's a really depressing and de-motivating place to be hanging around. I like to surround myself with people who are motivated, not burned out on life, eager to explore more of this world we're in, and willing to try new things. And with the exception of a few good friends I have in Chicago, I don't see that anywhere else I go around in that hell-hole.

The potential for a really cool job opportunity on the East Coast exists and I'm going to try my hardest to make it happen. Because I can't let myself almost get dragged back to square one like I almost did this winter break. I can't exactly cut a bunch of ties from my family with a clear conscience, but it's honestly the best thing I can do for myself right now.

Excuse me, I have to go sort out a financial mess right now. Because my mother hasn't cut me a very large check that I'm owed. I just can't get away that easily.