I've written about this exact same thought before. The feeling that I'm getting dragged back to square one every time I'm home. The further I get away from the cluttered, unexciting, and antisocial house I grew up in, the deeper I perceive its flaws.
I think my past tendency to get burned out on life comes from that environment. My mom has her share of mental health issues - anxiety and depression - and my dad works all the damn time. It's the only thing I've ever known until I went away to college. When I'm away, I'm ambitious, optimistic, and excited for what life has in store. These are all feelings that get muffled and eventually snuffed out by returning home.
I have worked so hard to not be like my mom, but it frustrates me endlessly to come back to the environment I grew up in after I've changed so much. I regret coming home already, and I'm really glad I only have to tough it out for one more summer.
The good news is I'm senior enough (seniority is everything, from the lowest rungs of the aviation industry [me] to the top) to hold Saturdays and Sundays off. The bad thing is I was hoping for at least one weekday off to be at home away from my mother. You win some.....you lose some. Weekends will have to be spent in the city with friends.
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