Relief

For the first time in a year - or fifty weeks, to be exact, I'm able to take a break.

Driving home last night, I realized that I've spent nearly all of 2014 working, training, or taking classes. And for most of this year, it's been a combination of those three.

I am ready to clear my head and breathe.

To provide some background, my last day at work this summer was a Saturday. Monday morning, I was completely moved into my apartment and began full-time training the week before classes. I have not had any time to transition this year, ever. It was always a bang-bang, here I go, on to the next phase sort of deal.

So much has changed in the last year. I moved on from retail and started working in the industry I want to be in. I achieved a long-term goal of mine, got an incredible summer opportunity, subsequently burned myself out, then figured out quickly how to responsibly balance apartment life with work and school. My parents went from having two kids and a dog in the house to none of those over the course of a couple weeks. My home life is changing, and I'm starting to accept my parents in light of their faults - some blatant, some subtle. I've realized for a long time that I essentially am my dad, and that keeps becoming more and more true as I get older.

I learned that dissatisfaction is just a by-product of ambition, and that I'm prone to constantly being dissatisfied because I always see the ways in which I can do something better. A weakness and a strength. I'm learning.

I'm so relieved that this is all over. Likewise, I was relieved to be able to come home last night and realize that nothing ever really changes.

2014 was the most fun I never want to have again.